Wooster, OH- A local drug store was robbed of over 300 dollars worth of home pregnancy tests. Two women came running into the store yelling unintelligible words and letters, witnesses shared. They absconded with most all of the available home pregnancy tests in the family planning aisle just after making a quick dash for dixie cups.
The typical morning crowd of shoppers picking up their blood pressure medicines and anti-inflammatory prescriptions were alarmed when these women, appearing to be in their thirties, upset their normal routine. Irene, an elderly woman picking up her monthly supply of Miralax, joked that she isn’t going to need her dose today. They young ladies were aggressively tossing box upon box of pregnancy test into a stylish 31 bag. One witness shared that he couldn’t make most of what they were saying but that he was sure he heard the one woman say something about hurrying because they would miss the S. M. U. Authorities are investigating what S. M. U. might be, but they suspect it could be a form of transportation.
Detectives were examining the crime scene most of the morning and were surprised to discover that while the thieves took enough pregnancy tests to test daily for several months, they left a few brands completely untouched. Authorities cannot understand why the remaining tests were left, but another onlooker reported hearing the women complaining about the blue dye and some rap star that goes by the name of E. Vap.
Upon exiting the store security cameras were able to catch a shot of one of the women. If you have any information that can help police identify these clearly deranged criminals, please comment below and they will be in touch.